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Friday, September 12, 2008

Running

Running away. Running from the days past. Wanting to forget. Trying to run faster and faster, trying to get away.

It's following me.

I occasionally look back to see how far behind it is... Not far. I only expected to be much farther ahead than I really was. It didn't take any time at all for reality to set in.
Fight or flight. The "flight" kicked in and again off I went -- sprinting now. Faster than ever. It was falling behind, but was still clearly seen when looking back. I continue to clear hedges and press forward. I find myself running faster still, weaving in and out.

Did I lose it? Is it gone?
I slow down to a jog, catching my breath. Once again, night falls down upon the surface and darkness engulfs the world.
I slow to a brisk walk. Sounds of night life fill the air. My vision line decreases. Sounds are the only help now. Looking back over my shoulder, squinting to find any objects moving around behind me.
The wind picks up and blusters through the trees, making them howl. Confusing the moving branches and bushes as my follower.

Is it safe to stay put? Is it safe to rest just for a few minutes?

The sound of a twig breaking echoes from the direction I had just come from. I jump. My heart starts to pound violently and loudly in my chest. I can only hope no one hears it beating.
Slowly I peer around the tree I was resting against.

It couldn't be here yet. It just couldn't.

I view my surroundings where the sound derived.
Nothing.

I couldn't have imagined it, it was too distinct. I try and convince myself that it was only the wind's doing. All I want to do is just rest. I've been running for too long.
Too long running...
I want a break. I need a break.

The wind continues to play tricks on me as I continue to look for any sign of movement -- of any particular movement...
Nothing.

My hear rate starts to slow. I lean more confidently into the tree, noticing for the first time how rigid the bark was, cutting into my shoulder blades, but for now, it didn't matter. I slid down, now sitting against the tree. Again, I noticed for the first time just how much I had torn, ripped, and cut both my clothes and skin, but for now it didn't matter.
Nothing mattered except the fact I could finally rest.

My eyelids grew heavy quickly and fell shortly after. The next thing I remembered was the sound of the morning birds calling each other and the sunlight warming up my face.
I didn't want to move; my body ached. Just a few minutes more...

Off in the distance I, once again, heard the crack of a breaking twig. Much more alert, I cautiously look around. The aches and pains of my body seemed minor, but still present.
Even in the dim morning light, shapes of objects were much clearer than the night before. In the distance an extremely particular, all-too-familiar, shape rustled where the twig broke. Forcing my aching body off the ground I knew it was time to go.
It was early enough for me to get a good head start without being seen, but the sun was rising fast.

Maybe I'll be able to rest fully soon... But for now, I'll just keep on running.

1 comments:

Shawnee - Sassy in Sweatpants said...

that's beautiful, love

but it's so sad :(

don't feel that way